Archive | June, 2010

On Pants and the English Language

27 Jun

Quote of the day:

“I refute you!”                                                                                                                                       Josie Carter

Use this one in an argument. It really works. No one knows quite what to say, so they just dissolve, especially if said in a Simba from The Lion King manner. Another that really works is “Do not mock me, for my words are a matter of pride!

DISCLAIMER: I am about to offend anyone on here who speaks American English. If you indeed do speak American English and are reading this, my advice would be to stop reading. Now. Okay, I put this up. Continue at your own peril!

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Sorry

25 Jun

” An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman (or gentlewoman!– ED), however wrong he might be.” Steve Martin

Hi.

I apologise for my short-ish hiatus. I have two reasons for it*.

  1. I couldn’t kick my sister off the computer (she seems to be superglued to it).
  2. I was extremely busy.
  3. I had the dreaded, the horrible, the mortifyingly intimidating, the end-of-year exams to worry about. And I was too stressed out to speak in coherent sentences.

Oops, that’s three. But you get my point here, no?

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A Disgruntled And Moany-ish Letter

25 Jun

Dear Owner of this Blog,

Please shut up. Or at least write about something different. I’m sick and tired of hearing about your internet related woes. Readers aren’t interested! We want romance, murder, excitement and LOTS MORE EPIC MUSIC!

If you don’t write about something else, we will terminate your blog. Okay?

Lots of love,

The Secret Society of WordPress Blog Police (who only write to people who are rubbish)

“Do or die!” — Founder, Sir I. Ama-Humongoustwit. OBE MBE OMG BBQ.

Woe

17 Jun

Oh dear.

“Woe (n.) Deep distress or misery as from grief, wretchedness, dismay. Often associated with the fact that your blog got 40 more views a week (and two days) ago than today. ”

Woe (interj.) Expression of sorrow or distress, eg. “Woe is me! I’m useless and I look at my pageviews every day!” or something to that effect.”

Views. There are but two. Oh, woe, woe is me.

Does this not evoke the poignant image of those poor, forgotten socks?

P.S. I feel that I may have to link to the Eskimo Woe web-comics.
(They’re vair funny. But explicit. You have been warned.)

Aw. He looks so saaad.
This is how I feel. Like a sad, sad eskimo.

http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com/

Things I Like: Cousins

15 Jun

I like cousins.

*

That is to say, I like ‘Cousins’ by Vampire Weekend.

Not my actual cousins. Though I do love you, if you’re reading.*

*

Yeah, well anyway! Cousins. Yes. Look. Just listen. And watch. You’ll get what I mean.

So.

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“…Like A Hundred Million Hotdogs, Sir.”

13 Jun

I love Eddie Izzard. In all his transvestite-sparkly-dressed-tight-leather-trousered-lipsticked-and-eyelinered glory.  He’s just pretty awesome.

Eddie Izzard

Mr Izzard himself.

“Transvestite is male tomboy, not, repeat,  NOT drag queen. Gay men have pretty much got that covered.”

Eddie Izzard

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Views

10 Jun

I am officially a sad, sad person.

(Not sad as in desolate, depressed, suicidal, etc., but sad as in an ‘I’ve-just-realised-im-a-useless-weirdo kinda way. )

*

But at the same time, I am happy!

*

Why? Because the day before yesterday I got 42 views on my blog.

42! Count ’em!

I know you won’t but that’s not the point. The point is that I usually got less than a quarter of that on average, mostly less. It was very gratifying that some of you are actually reading my posts instead of them just hanging in cyber space…

Washing line

...much like the socks depicted above.

So, yay, thank you! to show my gratitude…

REWARD SONG TIME!

1901- Phoenix

Hash

7 Jun
Hash browns

Not these.

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Moosive

5 Jun
Black moose silhouette

Nothing to do with mooses, moosen, meece... these things, or whatever.

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