On Boys, Bikes and Mistaken Identity

11 Jul

I am a blogger* and a geek, therefore I have no life.

So, what do I do during the summer holidays when I am on my lonesome (for, due to my nerd-dom, I have no friends)? I ride up and down the canal path near where I live, on my bike.**

First, let me explain about my bike.

  • It is pink.
  • It is slightly sparkly.
  • It does not have streamers coming out of the handlebars.
  • One of the tyres is very deflated.
  • It is very small (but I can’t really fit onto any of the bigger ones– that is to say that I can’t reach the seat).
  • It has a very low seat.
  • I have had it since the age of about seven.
  • It has no gears.
  • Due to its lack of gears, to go at any sort of decent speed one has to pedal like a freak.

Like this one. Apart from this one is infinitely cooler, naturellement.

So yes.

On one of my solitary jaunts up and down the canal-front, I forgot to wear my glasses. Without my glasses, I am practically blind– ever seen this face in a manga or anime: (3_3) ? That’s basically what I look like, sans specs. (Those of you who know me (in real life) will imagine me bumping into trees. I bumped into nine within the first ten minutes.) Now, being practically blind is not the best of circumstances to be experiencing when riding a bike.

The Dangers Of Riding A Bike While Being Practically Blind:

  1. There are dogs. Who knows what they might do to you?
  2. There is the small matter of dog… uh…. excretion and riding your bike through such
  3. The aforementioned crashing into trees, and by extension, mowing down old ladies, small children, birds,  hedgehogs, lesser spotted pygmy kangaroos***, etc.
  4. You might spot someone you know, or at least, someone you think you know.

It is the last matter that is the point of this anecdote. There may as well be a note at the top explaining that you can indeed just skip to line 33 (or something similar) and read from there, because I’m actually getting around to what I actually want to say. Actually.

As I was riding down the canal path, I saw a familiar silhouette– my friend Becca. In my excitement, I pedalled doubly as hard (thus making me look more like a freak than usual) and, as I neared her shouted BECCAAAAAA! at the top of my voice. Her pedalling (she was on a bike too) slowed. And stopped completely.  It wasn’t Becca.

It was a boy who I’d never seen before.

I stopped my bike. He looked at me.

Me: Hi

Him: Uh…

Me: Um. You’re not Becca, are you.

Him: No. I’m a boy.

Me: Yes. I can see that.

Him: Um, sorry.

Me (while cycling off as fast as I can): I’m sorry! I forgot my glasses!

Him (whispers): Freak.


Then I got home and realised I had an elderflower in my hair. (For some strange and unknown reason.)


*That is not to suggest that bloggers have no life, but I am one of such extraordinary dorkiness that prevents me from talking to people without throwing in a) a word over nine letters long or b) the interjection ‘pwned’.

**Not in a stalky way, you understand.

***Not that we have them here, you also understand.

10 Responses to “On Boys, Bikes and Mistaken Identity”

  1. musiclover19 July 11, 2010 at 7:20 pm #

    wow! that is something only you would have done!! can i give you some advice?
    dont go out without your glasses!! and dont worry, we all know your not a freak! we think…

  2. Mariam July 12, 2010 at 10:15 am #


    you made me laugh … there is nothing like a good laugh.

    What is a Geek Girl? -I need to know your definition, please.

    • Eric Does Not Exist July 12, 2010 at 5:46 pm #

      Basically, me.
      Geek Girl (noun, coll.)see entry on Josie Carter
      A geek girl can share the characteristics of any of the following:
      Blogs, is self centred, owns at least six t-shits with band logos on them (+1 superman t-shirt!), wore ACTUAL nerd glasses before they were fashionable, is a massive anime/manga freak, gets crushes on the gay characters from books and tv shows, doesn’t have facebook but joins obscure comic book forums, has a signature smiley, even while thinking that they are sooo naff ( say hi to :3 and >: D), uses 70’s mod slang like nerk, tries to force her (odd) music taste on others,and embarasses herself by being incedibly socially awkward in public.

      That comprehensive enough? :3
      Josie 😉

  3. tobeme July 12, 2010 at 6:54 pm #

    You lucky that you only had a case of mistaken identity. Wear your glasses so you can enjoy your ride!

    • Eric Does Not Exist July 12, 2010 at 6:56 pm #

      yes, and not a case of a broken arm. I’m just a hopelessly forgetful person… it can’t be helped 😉

  4. scarletsculturegarden July 14, 2010 at 11:57 am #

    In reply to “there are dogs”, I have to say that there are ALWAYS dogs and that in my mind no matter how small the pup they pose a terrible threat to my limbs…
    And just because you’re a geek and a blogger it doesn’t mean you have no life. Bet you get to talk to loads of great people on here after all!

    • EricDoesNotExist August 6, 2010 at 3:46 pm #

      well, i have no life away from the computer screen… yay. 😀
      but thanks, anyway. i do meet tons of crazy and amazing people around here 😉

  5. brownpaperbaggirl July 20, 2010 at 8:56 pm #

    Thank you for the chuckle. Quite the adventure it was, I’d say! Wearing glasses can be a pain…but not nearly as painful as crashing into someone/something may be.

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