Sexy Stats (and Various Other Sexy Things. Or not.)

17 Oct

WordPress bloggong staff. You disappoint me.

Look at this.

Look away, children! *faints from all the sexiness*

 Not.

That is not a sexy statistics table. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t even think that there is any such thing as a sexy statistics table. This ‘Nick’ (of the WordPress Blaggers) who wrote this post obviously does not know what ‘sexy’ means. He just can’t.

Or else, how could he have written this spectacularly eloquent, precisely worded  passage?

“[…] go check it out because you can view all of the new charts with modern browsers including mobile devices such as iPhone and iPad. Sooo sexy! Today we updated the charts to use bars instead of points and lines. We’ve also made the stats page super sexy. [ad infinitum]”

Now, as a socially awkward, extremely repressed teenager, I haven’t really seen much sexy. Actually, the only way I could have a substantially less racy existence is if I sat in the corner of my bedroom with a large paper bag over my head. Without cutting in any airholes. But what I do know is that the iPad is not really sexy. No.

Neither are bars. Especially not instad of lines and points. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE!

And maybe I am damning myself to blogging  purgartory by insulting the WordPress Gods but (dare I say it? I must, alas) everybody will cease to care, no matter how many times you say ‘sexy’.

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One Response to “Sexy Stats (and Various Other Sexy Things. Or not.)”

  1. EricDoesNotExist November 12, 2010 at 9:53 pm #

    Although I’m not much better. ‘Bloggong?’ ‘Instad?’ Wargh.

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