Why Won’t You Comment?

28 Oct

 

Comment is free! So why don't any of you guys do it?

If you know who this guy is– Charles Prestwich Scott– , in relation to comments, unaided by google or any other search engine, you get a very awesome prize. GO!

Ah, the comment. My heart leaps every time I see that text-box at the bottom of a web page, a blank canvas ready for me to say exactly what I think. And I do. Frequently.

I especially like to argue in comments. It’s fun… you can tease people out for aaages with an arbitrary shrug of an opinion, your opponent’s temper rising with every comment nest level.  You can leave them for a couple of days to simmer and shout abuse at you in their imaginations (and, obviously, in text) and, every now and then, form a laconic few sentences just to rile them.

But my sadism is not the point here. My point is this.

Why won’t you comment?

Why?

Why?

Whyyyy?

It’s not fair. Every time I see the exultant, mocking slope of italic letters in the link at the bottom of a post that reads Leave a Comment, my heart breaks. Why, I lament, why will they not tell me what they think? Because I need to know. It’s a result of my overwhelming paranoia which stems from my compulsive need to be loved*. By not commenting, you screw with my brain. By not commenting, you show that you don’t really care, you deny  me my chance to make you care. You would therefore be the cause of my descent into utter verbal incontinence and total mental disintergration. My internet rantings would be like the result of someone who, while not under any anaesthetic , is having the frontal lobe of their neo-cortex poked by a latex gloved sadist, and the resulting utterances recorded by a lab-coated, Freudian bearded nutcase.   

P.S.: My sister has just now expressed an opinion that you will all just leave comments saying “Comment” (or something equally pointless and annoying) in them. But you won’t, will you? Because, if you do, I may just have to kill you. Okay? 😀

*Yes, I’m a truly sick and twisted individual. Yes, this whole thing’s a hyperbole and a half.

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20 Responses to “Why Won’t You Comment?”

  1. musiclover19 October 28, 2010 at 10:57 pm #

    Aawh! comment! answer ur damn phone btw! and please tell ur sister to meet there at 4

    • EricDoesNotExist November 1, 2010 at 10:08 pm #

      THAT IS NOT THE TYPE OF THING YOU WRITE IN A COMMENT! ANYONE COULD SEE!

      • foodest November 4, 2010 at 10:29 am #

        AHAHAHA.

        By the way, this is the guy that told you about Kare Kano. Loved the entry about you biking blind.

  2. Ivy Blaise October 30, 2010 at 12:36 pm #

    Hmmmm Charles Prestwick Scott….looks vaguely familiar….kind off…. probably from some book in school (which is way too long ago) that I should remember but alas…I do not. Ah well, I just thought I’d tell you that so that you could enlighten me on who the old codger was.

    Nice to see a new post from you by the way! 🙂

    • EricDoesNotExist November 1, 2010 at 10:08 pm #

      ehhh… thanks.
      i’m getting less and less post-y nowadays. sob. ah well…
      answer to come… SOON!

      • Ivy Blaise November 1, 2010 at 10:22 pm #

        🙂 Coming up with something to blag about in the blog is one of the few things that keeps my mind of work at the moment. That is what the commute is for anyway….might not be the safest focus while driving but hey… And reading other blogs that I enjoy keeps me sane a bit longer.

        So please keep posting!

  3. EricDoesNotExist November 5, 2010 at 7:19 pm #

    @ foodest
    Firstly, HI.
    Secondly, sorry I can’t reply directly, but comments won’t nest below the third level. Which is suckish.
    Thirdly, AAAAAARRGHH! It’s YOUUU! From the Ning! NO WAY!
    It’s like having a teacher turn up at your birthday party.
    Fourthly (?), thanks. My blind-as-a-bat-ness is finally being appreciated.

    • foodest November 6, 2010 at 9:57 am #

      Teacher at your birthday party? You make me feel so welcomed.

      If you ever want to talk online on an IM thingy, let me know. Keep writing!

      • EricDoesNotExist November 7, 2010 at 8:40 pm #

        A teacher. Or a politician. : D
        Nah, I value each and every on of my sparse readers. The reason why they’re so sparse is probably because I keep mentioning them and their sparseness. I call it the reverse tinkerbell effect.
        IM thingy? Sure!
        Keep writing? …I’ll try…

      • foodest November 10, 2010 at 10:08 am #

        Do you read and comment on other blogs? That’s the best way to build an active readership.

        What IM thingy do you use?

        • EricDoesNotExist November 11, 2010 at 12:10 am #

          I do comment and read other blogs. Sporadically. And I do have quite a lot of views, but i’m quite worried that it’s the same people clicking on several times a day. Or me, coming here when I’m not signed in, and clicking and re-clicking in semi-conscious insecurity.

  4. EricDoesNotExist November 5, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

    @ Ivy Blaise
    DON’T CRASH WHILE MIND-BLOGGING DOWN THE TWISTY ROADS OF IRELAND (I think)! I would have to go into blog-mourning, and I don’t want that.

    P.S. Charles Prestwick Scott was an editor of the Guardian aeons ago (okay, 1926). He very famously said (wrote?), “Comment is free, but facts are sacred.”
    And as for ‘some book at school’… that old codger? Maybe.

    • Ivy Blaise November 7, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

      🙂 I am still successfully multitasking mind-blogging whiles driving whiles shouting abuse at fellow commuters trying to cut me off. Just wish I could multitask like that in work.

      In regards to old codger… he looks like one I guess 🙂 And there were many, many books that I loved in school and that now seem to have slipped my mind. I swear, having a “normal” day-to-day job seems to erase all that I once learned and actually memorized so well.

  5. Badly Drawn Girl November 26, 2010 at 10:17 pm #

    Comment.

  6. Allegra November 30, 2010 at 10:25 pm #

    My heart leaps for joy when someone posts a comment on my blog, especially a newcomer. It at least proves that somebody is out there, reading and caring enough to leave a comment. I try to liberally leave comments over numerous blogs. “Do unto others,” no?

  7. Val Erde December 1, 2010 at 2:18 am #

    Your comment box isn’t easy to see. I keep trying to type above the space and wondering why it won’t. Won’t what?

    The nesting comments thingy – you can change that in settings. Beyond about five though and you get really long narrow vertical comments that are a pain to read. I think three is the default, I’m not sure.

    Also saw somewhere you don’t like the ‘like’ button. You can get rid of that in settings too.

    As for the dude.. he’s got starey eyes that will make a person want to comment. That’s who he is. Starey old dude who makes people want to comment.

    • EricDoesNotExist December 20, 2010 at 9:34 pm #

      I can’t change the comment box! I’ve tried, but all in vain.
      Oh, and look! I changed the settings! Comments now nest more than three paltry levels– lucky commenter with whom I choose to converse…
      And as for the ‘like’ button: have I mentioned that I’m also VERY lazy? I think that I may just have to live with it, being the laissez-faire wastrel that I am.
      Stary, scary, comment-inducing old dude is going on my sidebar immediately, just you wait. 🙂

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